9 week belly and facts!

I am 9 weeks today! WOW! This is the beggining of my third month of pregnancy (: Time is going by so fast! Our first prenatal appointment is next Wednesday, where we will hopefully get an inside peak at our little OLIVE!

Thats right ladies and gents, our sweet little baby is now the size of a large green olive! .9 inches and weighing in at a whopping .07oz! This little gal/guy is moving on up in the world of fruit ha. Our little Olive is now considered a fetus, but again no matter the tech name for our kiddo its still our BABY. The facial features are becoming more pronouced and the heartbeat can be heard now with a standard doppler u/s device (:

Big changes for our sweet little monster and mommy! My belly has a noticable bump now, I am showing about 4 weeks ahead of when I started showing with Kaylee! My morning sickness has increased but sour candies and tons of water seem to help ease it away. I am getting more and more emotionally attached to my new little bean. And starting to realize, Kaylee wont be my one and only for much longer, so I am taking the time to cherish the moments we have alone and as a family of 3.

Baby Belly! weeks 7.5 & 8

Enjoy my growing tummy! I know I am (:

Our little raspberry!

Sorry ladies and gents for taking such a long time to do a baby update! I have been sleeping like total a nightmare, 2-5 hours a night on top of feeling ill!

Anyway on to the good stuff!

So our little baby is looking more and more human and less like an extraterrestrial being! S/he is as big as a large raspberry and is now moving around like crazy! The joints are starting to form in the elbow, wrist, knee, and ankle. Our little raspberry is about .63 inches big and weighs around .04 oz! So tiny still, but making huge changes! Baby will grow about a millimeter a day and will straighten out the trunk of the body during this week! The little webbed fingers and toes are starting to seperate into individual digits as well! So much going on in there! Only one more week until our little monster graduates to being a fetus, but no matter the technical term its our BABY!

Since this is my 2nd pregnancy I am more likely to feel the baby move earlier than before. They say some woman can feel the baby move as early as 10 weeks! Thats only 2 weeks away, holy smokes!

Gum cures all!

Forget last nights post folks.

This pregnancy has my emotions on a roller coaster from hell and has no signs of slowing down in the near future! The hubster and I are doin' just fine. (:

I finally found this gum that is usually for people with sea sickness, its a ginger and mint gum. Its wonderful. My saving grace, my new one true love! & for 3.13 for 24 peices its not as pricey as most of the anti-nausea gums and meds out there.

The baby update will come after work and my nap, this monster is wearing mommy OUT!

Distance...

I am feeling a sudden distance with my husband to be.

I feel alone. I feel as if no matter the longing I have for us to be close, we cant. I feel replaced. I feel un-needed. I feel awkward. I cant explain where these emotions came from, but I hope they leave me soon. Replaced with love, life and passion we once had. It could just be pregnancy, or it could be something more.

Distance doesn't always make the heart grow fonder...

Birth Plan...Yes it's already done

Our Wishes for Childbirth - Ashley------ & Shane------
Due Date:February 1, 2012
Patient of: -------
Scheduled to deliver at: ------
Support people allowed in room during birth/delivery are: Shane , Alysha , Messina and Chastity . I would prefer that no students, interns, residents or non-essential personnel be present during my labor or the birth of my daughter/son.

Thank you so much for being a part of this special time for us. These are our wishes and hopes for our birth experience. We understand no delivery can be completely planned. In a nutshell, this is what we’d like: We are planning an unmedicated or basic medicated, vaginal delivery. This is our second child and second semi-natural delivery. We prefer as little medical intervention as possible. We appreciate any and all support you have to offer. We are breastfeeding and [Boy] NOT circumcising. We hope to keep baby with mom at all times. Thank you for helping us reach these goals.

Labor
Prefer to walk and try different positions (birth ball, squatting, etc)
      -Please, feel free to recommend anything
If avalible Hydrotherapy with tub or shower with Support People present
I do not want an IV unless I become dehydrated
Heplock for GBS antibiotics
I would like to be able to have fluids and light foods by mouth throughout the first stage of labor.

Atmosphere:
prefer to keep it dim and quiet
I will be bringing my own music to play during labor.
I would like to wear glasses at all times
I do not wish to have continuous fetal monitoring unless it is required by the condition of the baby.

Labor Augmentation/Induction
If labor is not progressing, I would like to have the amniotic membrane ruptured before other methods are used to augment labor.
I would prefer to be allowed to try changing position and other natural methods (walking) before Pitocin is administered.

Anesthesia/Pain Medication
I realize that many pain medications exist. I'll ask for them if I need them.
Before considering an epidural, and if the situation warrants, I would like to try an injection of narcotic pain relief (Nubain, Demerol, Stadol or similar).
The following medication/s are not to be given to me for any reason: Cervidil, Generic Cervidil, Cytotec.

Cesarean
Unless absolutely necessary, I would like to avoid a Cesarean.
If a Cesarean delivery is indicated, I would like to be fully informed and to participate in the decision-making process.
So I can view the birth, I would like the screen lowered just before delivery of the baby.
If the baby is not in distress, the baby should be given to Shane Harless immediately after birth.

Episiotomy
I would prefer not to have an episiotomy unless absolutely required for the baby's safety.
I am hoping to protect the perineum. I am practicing ahead of time by squatting, doing Kegel exercises and perineal massage.
I would appreciate guidance in when to push and when to stop pushing so the perineum can stretch.
If possible, I would like to use perineal massage to help avoid the need for an episiotomy.

Delivery
I would like to be allowed to choose the position in which I give birth, including squatting.
NOT ON MY BACK
I would like to use the mirror to watch the baby
Atmosphere: dim lights and quiet room for delivery
Place baby on my chest immediately after delivery. Cleaning and umbilical cord can be taken care of from my chest.

Immediately After Delivery
I would like Shane to cut the cord after it stops pulsating. We are planning to collect our umbilical cord blood for donation and a collection kit has been provided for this activity.
I would like to hold the baby while I deliver the placenta and any tissue repairs are made. Will begin breastfeeding before s/he is taken for any reason.
I would like to delay and/or avoid completly the eye medication for our child until a couple of hours after birth.
I would like to have the baby evaluated and bathed in my presence.
I plan to keep the baby near me following birth and would appreciate if the evaluation of the baby can be done with the baby on my abdomen, with both of us covered by a warm blanket, unless there is an unusual situation.
If the baby must be taken from me to receive medical treatment, Shane, my fiance, or someone I appoint, will accompany him/her at all times.

Postpartum
Unless required for health reasons, I do not wish to be separated from my baby, all tests and bathing can be done in my room.
In the event the baby MUST be removed from my room, I would like to know why and for how long. Shane or another person appointed by myself will go with the baby and stay with him/her.
I would like to have the baby "room in" and be with me at all times including nights.

Breastfeeding
I plan to breastfeed the baby and would like to begin nursing very shortly after birth.
Unless medically necessary, I do not wish to have any bottles given to our child, including formulas, glucose water or plain water.
If bottle feeding is necessary, I wish to be informed of the reasons and have the ability to deny such request.
No pacifier/binkie
No glucose

Circumcision
We will not being circumcising our baby in the event we have a boy.
Photo/Video
My friends, family  or fiance will take pictures and/or video before, during and after L&D.

Other
Only visitors during delivery are to be Shane, Alysha and Chastity.
For at least two hours after delivery I would like no visitors with the exception of Shane Harless, my daughter Kaylee and my Support People.
I would like my daughter, Kaylee, to be able to visit me and the baby in the hospital.

Blueberry is now famous!

Well our little blueberry is now known to everyone of importance! Shane's family all got the news today when papaw opened his father's day card that read "Love, Kaylee and Blueberry"! Of course everyone wanted to know who this blueberry was! Even though she had on her big sister onesie no one noticed! It was the card that gave it away!

Hubby's mother has yet to find out, and for good reason. She has been nothing but a thorn in our side for the last 4-5 months and actually tried to fight with me. We think we will tell her soon, but she will not be invited to the birth. Which is sad if you ask me, its a family affiar and she has dug a rut so deep that right now no one wants to be around her. ): Oh well, the best I can do is wish her well and hope she makes changes in her life.

226 days until Kaylee is offically a BIG SISTER!! I dont think it will hit her that there will be a new little one around until s/he is here. We are going to take her to sibling classes so that she can learn all about how to be a wonderful big sister, which we know she will be anyway! I fall more and more in love with my two babies everyday. I can't imagine my life without them. I am truly blessed.

6 & 7 week belly pictures!!

TROUBLE

I watched my daughter with her Uncle Bailey yesterday. [He is 16 and all her uncles and aunts are 22 and under lol] Anyway I watched her with him, how she made an instant bond and connection with him AND his friends. She had them hooked in about 30 seconds. She doesnt get to see him 24/7 but when she does she has him wrapped around that little finger. She blew my mind, at the snap of her fingers those boys were doing anything and everything she wanted.


She wanted to play hide and seek, those three teenagers played with her until she was done. She wanted pizza for dinner, oh say no more those boys went out and brought back pizza for everyone. She wanted a drink of UB's soda, oh but of course little lady anything you need. A little boy from next door about 3-4 came over and knocked her down during a game of tag, she had it handled, she shoved him down and yelled at him to stop, turned on her heel and skipped back to the boys who stared with gapping mouths lol.

She said jump and they asked how high. It was adorable and mind blowing all at once.
This little tot will one day be of dating age, and I can only just imagine how that will go. O_O Boys falling over themselves to open the door, get her a tray at lunch ect.

Needless to say: WE ARE IN TROUBLE!

Welcome to the Land of Blueberries!

Yay! Little Sweet Pea is Graduating to a BLUEBERY!!

This week my little blueberry will be developing brain cells like mad! About 100 new cells every minute! My tiny genius is hard at work in there! Joints for the arms and legs are starting to form which means this little berry is well on his/her way to beating mommy up from the inside lol.

Little blueberry is finally known to all of Mommy's family! We made miss Kay a onsie that says "Im the BIG sister!" and she wore it to see family who didnt know yet! Took some people a while to figure out what it ment. Oh sillyness! Next is Daddy's family, who will hopefully find out long before they did with monster one! [I was almost 5 months along!!]

On a side note: We finally have our final boys name and our final girls name! (: Its early we know but I am a planner and I need to have everything in place as soon as possible. Oh, hubby and I agreed he would also find out the sex, but that we would leave it a secret from friends and family. Not many people are happy about this, and think we should make exceptions for just them! Not happening! Ha. (: We are going to have a gender nuetral theme for this little bundle, what that will be we aren't sure. Kaylee was Pooh Bear, we may just stick with that.

Anyone have good theme ideas that are for either gender?!

A Moment of Bliss

I tucked my daughter Kaylee into bed tonight. I hugged her, I kissed her, I cuddled her.

I cherished it, I took my time. I read her more stories than I would on a normal night.

And then she looked up at me, all sleepy eye'd and dreamy, took her binkie out of her mouth and kissed me on the cheek, told me she loved me. I cried. I couldn't help it, I just cried. I have never felt love and bond as the bond and love between me and my daughter. I can't imagine anyone loving someone as much as I love her. My heart was shattered and put back together in mila seconds of that tiny girls kiss on the cheek.

She amazes me. Every breathe she takes, every milestone she hits its pure amazment. And she is mine, that beautiful little girl, is mine. I am a proud mother. A mother of a daughter that is beautiful and smart and wise beyond her years.

Who knew that a two year old drooling, snotty, cranky little girl would be the light of my life. If you had asked me 5 years ago I would have told you that you were nuts. Now, I can't imagine my life any other way.

Twins...Your kidding right? RIGHT!?

I am perfectly happy to be pregnant.
Again: I am perfectly happy to be pregnant.
Edit: I am BEYOND happy to FINALLY be pregnant.

My OB called and said she finally had time to look at my last blood draw and u/s I had on Wednesday. She said my beta levels are wonderful, so wonderful in fact that there is a good chance I am carrying T W I N S.

Twins:either of two offspring born together: either of two people or animals born to the same mother at the same time.

Let me tell you a little something about me:
-When I was 16 I didnt want kids, I dreaded the very idea of having children.
-18 I got pregnant, had a miscarriage and to my surprise I was devestated.
-19 I got pregnant again [same guy] had a miscarriage. Decided then and there maybe kids just werent going to happen for me and made myself content with that.
-20 I got pregnant with my daughter Kaylee. I was very happy, loved my pregnancy and knew she would be my ONE AND ONLY.
-21 Got pregnant [kays dad again] Miscarried was again surprised at my devestation, talked with hubby and we agreed to have another it is our last shot after all. Two would be perfect. Tried and failed tried and failed; you know my story by now.

NOW: I am pregnant, happily pregnant. After trying and trying and trying, I got what I wanted. And I feel bad for dreading twins. Twins scare me. Raising two more, the same age, at the same time, yeah, my deffinition of terrified.

Now the OB said this was only her guess, and that she could be entirely wrong. I asked how sure, she said, I dont want to give you a number and end up being wrong. Da** you woman, I NEED to know.

So I still have to wait. Sit. And. Wait. Until July 6th. JULY 6TH!?

Rant over.

Apple Seed is a Graduate & Muffin is feelin' Good.

My little Apple-seed is now SIX WEEKS!

Apple-seed is now a Sweet Pea!

Wow! My sweet little baby is growing up quick already! Sweet-Pea is now a quarter of an inch big and growing quickly to make room from whats to come. Sweet-pea is starting to get eyes, ears, cheeks, chin and nose, s/he also has little webbed 'paddle' like hands and feet that will begin to move by the end of the week. His/her heart is beating on it's own, and the circulatory system is functional now.

Still blows my mind how fast my little sweet-pea will change over the next 34ish weeks. 238 days if you wanna really get down to it. (:

Kaylee is doing well. (: She has been napping a lot. Her fever is down and she is eating and drinking again. She has been watching her favorite movie "Toy Story 3" because she is in love with Buzz lol. I am happy that she is slowly becoming more active and more like herself. Getting her off these meds slowly and switching her to tylenol as the week goes on. (:

I posted names a long while ago, here is an update on all that jazz.

Now that we are FINALLY pg, we narrowed down our baby names thanks to :http://www.yeahbaby.com/baby-name-generator.php! Ugh I love this thing lol

[not our real last name but close]

Avery is my FAVORITE boys name lol I fell in love with it and cant get it out of my head. But I also LOVE the name Landon...

Our Final Three
Boys:
Avery Landon Hartless [Me] Love
Avery Liam Maddox Hartless [Me] LOVE
Liam Carter Avery Hartless [Him] Like
Landon Avery Hartless [Us] LOVE
Landon Avery Maddox Hartless [Us] Love
Avery Liam Rylan Hartless [Us] Love

The middle name for our girls picks is set in stone, its a combination of his gma Linda and my gma Rebecca.

Girls:
Savannah RyLynn Hartless [Us] Love, but worry about nickname Savvy? ick!
Natalia RyLynn Hartless [Me] LOVE [nuh tall e uh] Natty for nickname
McKenna RyLynn Hartless [Him] Could live with
Addison Savannah RyLynn Hartless [Us] LOVE but worry about the nickname Addy ew!
AnnaLeigh Savvanah RyLynn Hartless [Us] It was our other pick for Kay and we both like it

As you can see I have some narrowing down to do lol But I know I will figure it out (:

Surgery Day

We are HOME! Surgery went well.

 

 They did have to cut a nerve and her muscle but where able to stitch it all back together. If all goes well she should have about 90% function from that muscle still which means she will still have facial expressions on that side of her face. 100% of the mass was taken out, tho when they started to remove it, it burst open. They were able to get the rest out and do clean up. The scar is slightly bigger because the mass was slightly bigger than they exected.
The mass is being sent off to lab for tests and we should have those results Friday or Monday.
She spiked a fever 100.8 and said we need to keep an eye out for infection. She began breathing on her own about 10-15 minutes after being taken off anesthesia.
They noticed she had raspy, rough breathing before she went under and after. Checked it out and she has tonsils the size of an adult. Its not swelling either they are just massive and she is TINY. [2 yrs old 20.5 lbs] So another surgery is in her future.

Right now: She has eaten lunch and a few cookies and some sprite and tons of water. She is still loopy and will be since her pain meds make her loopy also. Its kinda like have a drunk toddler. She can hardly walk with out stumbling, has slurred speech and glassy eyes. Its pretty adorable actually!

2 days ago: Growing up & Surgery Blues

Only two more days until Apple-seed graduates to a Sweet Pea!

Amazing how fast a baby develops! Yes, yes its 9 months but I am already in month 2!

Apple-seed now has his/her own beating heart and circulatory system. Can you imagine the insanity that is taking place in my uterus, because for me its mind blowing. Simply MIND BLOWING. Two seemingly carefree cells, hook up and become a group of cells that divide super fast and connect and guide and become a little human! Like I said mind blowing...

Got my results from the 2nd blood test, the numbers are still good. Had a blood draw today, will hear results later this week.

Kays surgery is tomorrow and all I have to say is:

Is it possible to stress about NOT stressing?!

Tomorrow is Kay's surgery, and of course being her mother I am FREAKING THE HECK OUT! ugh My tiny baby is going under the knife and under anesthesia!

I am trying to keep myself relaxed and calm, because I know stress is not good for the baby baking inside me, but gosh is it hard! Every single thing that could go wrong is passing through my head. I have had nightmares about her not waking up or missing her eye and ugh...not good.

I keep telling myself everything will be FINE, but heading into the medical field myself and knowing what I already know and percentages and numbers ect ect Its hard to keep saying "Nothing will go wrong, it will be perfect."

But...It will be fine. Nothing will go wrong. It will be perfect.

4 days ago: Breathing easier...

Yay!! Woo Hoo!

We got the results of my first blood draw and my Beta & progesterone levels are GREAT! Fabulous I think is the word the NP used (: 2 more just to be safe but things are looking up!

I got a few questions from readers on here and on my other blog about the baby so I thought I'd answer them now!

"Why do you call the baby Apple-seed?"
Good Q! The babys nick name will change as s/he changes! Right now baby is the size of an Apple-seed so for now thats his/her nick name!

"Do you want a boy or girl?"
Frankly, HEALTHY! lol We are team blue! We want a little boy but would be just as happy with a bundle of pink!

"Will you find out the sex?" Yes I will. But family and friends and HUBBY will all be left in the dark. Will I tell you? YES! lol Just dont tell on me! (;

"Names?" Another secret! I will give out our final three picks for names to friends and family, and even YOU but I will be the only one to know the babys name (:

Currently: 5 weeks 4 days!

Little Kay is about to have her surgery in a few short days! Ugh! What a nightmare...I dont even want to think about it.

She is developing so well! Her speech and word count are growing and getting better. She is healthy and happy and I just feel an enormous amount of love from her.

My sweet little Kay <3

6-1.5-11 Scary thoughts....

Sooo, was having a fairly normal day yesterday and today. Yesterday night I had some light spotting[brown blood and red] and cramping but later this afternoon it was insane. Like HOLY CRAP IM GUNNA DIE pain. So I called my OB who sent me to the ER where I had to sit for 3 hours. But here is what happend:

I came into the ER right after work, was put to the front of the line [ahead of a guy with a possible broken arm] and went back to a private room where I got down to my skivies and into a hospital gown. I had an ER nurse come in to collect all my info, then another ER nurse to explain what will happen and who will be doing the proceadures.
Then a nurse came into draw my blood and collect a pee sample. I told him that my veins were hard to get at. He said he would give it a try and just check and see if he could find a good one to try. He tried to find a good vein and wasnt comfortable enough to stick me over and over again since I was already a nervous wreck. He said in the lab there was a girl who was the QUEEN on getting impossible veins. Thank heavens he was right! She got it on the first try and I could hardly feel it.
After that was said and done the ER NP came in and said he would be my doctor and would be performing a internal/external pelvic exam with tests as well. He went and got a female nurse to come in and help. They were quick and descriptive and very nice. After that the doctor said he would run my blood for a beta & infections and urine for any infections. Since I had not had a doctor confirmed pregnancy they needed to make 100% sure I was actually pregnant.
My beta came back and they sent me for an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay inside and that nothing was out of place [ie; ectopic pg] That came back normal. [She did however see something interesting, she saw my 'apple-seed' in my uterus BUT she also saw what may be 'apple-seed 2' or it could just be a cyst next to kiddo2.] Beta was good. They sent all my labs to my OB who was on call anyway and she and the u/s tech both comfirmed I am about 5 weeks along.
Overall I was told I had/have "threated miscarriage. Which about 40% of "T/M" end in miscarriage. But 60% go on to have almost perfect pregnancies. I have another blood draw on Friday and I have to make a appt with my OB and more than likely until the cramping and bleeding stop I will be considered High Risk.
I can still do daily life acctivities. But no sex for a while, no lifting anything heavier than 40lbs and sit or lay as much as possible during the day. I should also avoid sitting in the heat for long periods & running/working out [ugh].
I am holding tightly to that 60% and praying my little apple seed stays in place!

6-1-11 Five Week Money Shot

I am five weeks today! Whop whop!

Baby is now the size of an appleseed! So tiny! But baby is now starting to form its body and head as seperate parts. Which means our little alien is starting to look more and more human! Baby is busy this week making its heart and circulatory system which will be the first fully functional part of Baby! (: The neural tube, which will eventually Baby's brain and spinal cord is also forming this week! So Baby is clearly a busy bee! 9 more weeks before Baby will enter the 2nd trimester, which means mommy can stop worrying about a possible m/c.

So far I am having some 'easy' symptoms which I am fully aware can change at the drop of a hat lol I have been feeling a little more tired than normal, tender bbies, and hungry more but especially for dairy products! Which is a good sign because Baby needs lots of calcium to grow (:

5-26-11 4 weeks 1 day

http://lbdf.lilypie.com/WLs3m4.png

 ^^My Baby Ticker!^^

Feeling great so far. No morning sickness! KYFC it stays that way lol

I have to pee like every hour on the hour.

My lower belly is a little tender and crampy and puffy. (: [Never thought a woman would be happy about that now did you?]

Still getting all positives on my HPTs and the line is getting darker and darker!!

5-24-11 I'll never doubt you again...

I guess that will teach me to doubt my body again!

And the line just keeps getting darker!

5-23-11 Sinking Feeling & Birthday Blast!

I have not tested since the 20th, all my "good" feelings about this cycle went away. I dont know why but I just woke up and had this feeling I wasnt.
I have been cramping from the left side, and my bbies are sensitve but not tender. If you know what I mean...lol
I think I will test in the AM (:
If I am not pg this cycle next cycle is still in the Feb zone [2/29] So I still have my shot of a Feb baby!

Found an OB office! Talked to 3 of the doctors and liked them all!
They took time out of their BUSY day to call me and have a 15 min phone consult (: Which I think is awesome! I am going to talk it over with hubby and then schedual tomorrow. [today]

[Kinda hoping murphys law works in my favor...now that I am SEEKING help with fertility, it just kinda happens lol]

 

Kay's partay was a blast! She had sooo much fun! I will try and post pics in a blog tomorrow for you all!
She got a TON of awesome stuff, new books, new baby dolls, clothes, a 'grocery' cart [she's mommys helper], pretend food, THREE swimming pools, a pool chair, new swim suit, a tricycle, a baby doll stroller and so much more lol
Most of her friends and family made it to the party, she got to meet Chuck E Cheese and go in the TICKET BLASTER with her Daddy (: It was a blast. Everyone enjoyed the party and my amazingly yummy cupcakes (:

5-19-11 Surgery & Other Drama

My DD Kaylee is having surgery on June 7th! We had her consult today, which went pretty well. Her doctor is nicknamed the "Rockstar" Peds surgeon at this hospital.

She has had a growth above her left eye that has been growing and pushing the corner of her eye down. It has been there for a year and they didnt want to operate on her in the event that it would go away on its own. But now it has entangled itself in a few of her facial nerves and a nerve of her eye movement, so it is a slightly risky surgery. She is also only two years old and the size of a small one year old. [she and the 9 month old I watch are the same weight and kay is only 4 inches taller] So she is itty bitty, she was preemie and could have a gentic thing going on, but they arent jumping to conclusions there unless she doesnt grow by her 3rd year appt.

The surgery is currently labled as outpaitent with a 24 hour nurse assigned to us for emergencies. It could become a 1-2 day stay in the event something goes wrong...which here is the list of things that COULD go wrong:

-They hit the facial nerves which would prevent her from moving that side of her forhead
-They hit an optic nerve which could cause temp or perm blindness in that eye
-She has a seizure during the procedure from the "sleepy meds" [She has had random seizures since she was 3 months old where she would completely stop breathing and go totally limp...yes a mothers nightmare. All her tests were inconclusive and she hasnt had one since she was 1 and a half.]
-She doesnt wake up from her sleepy meds [very low chance but it can happen]

Those are my main concerns, there are plenty of other things that could go wrong but not as forward on my mind. Ugh, well those of you who made it through my rant THANKS (:
Im not sure of the responce I am looking for but I had to vent it out or I was going to combust into a ball of stress and worry.



On a happier note:
her birthday party with family is this weekend! She is so excited, we are having the party at chuck e cheese which she LOVESSSS! I am making homemade red velvet and zebra cupcakes [recipes will be up soon(:] With HOT PINK frosting and black glitter sprinkles. Her theme is PRINTS so I found all these cool girly prints for her cupcake holders [will post pics after party] And got some hot-pink plates and napkins and balloons. (: I am not a very big girly girl but I can be when it comes to my bby girl! I am also making her a tutu with animal prints and a onsie with a lepord print 2 with hot pink trim and stiching!

I am currently on 10 DPO and will being testing in the AM! KYFC!!! Much Love!

5-8-11 Kaylee's Birthday & Mothers Day

KayKay had a great birthday! (: She had so much fun with mommy and daddy, we did so much and she has another party later in the month!! Lucky Girl!!!

She went to Build A Bear and made a kitty, she got to stuff it with fluff and give it a heart (:
Took her to her favorite place to eat for lunch and had pizza for dinner. I made her a cookie cake and decorated it myself
She got to go to the park and play at the mall's kid zone. Over all it was an amazing day (:

Oh,I woke up to a monkey and breakfast in bed this morning (: Which was awesome to say the least.

BabyTalk: I am currently on CD:11 Days Until O:4

5-4-11 Hello Humpday.

My OPKs and HPTs are here!! (: Woot. 40 Ovulation Tests and 15 Pregnancy tests for only 12$ Free shipping too Yayness (:

Af ended quick! She was short and sweet thank goodness. But yesterdayI have had some out right insane cramps coming from only the left side. Grr they make me wish I could look inside and ask 'WTF ARE YOU DOING IN THERE BE NICE TO MEEE'

I have noticed the days I forget to take my prenatal I get a migrain from HELL! [like today] lasted 5 freaking hours!! But I already have something wrong with me that causes me to have a daily headache that can last from 30mins to 2 weeks it also causes blackouts, vomiting, forgetfulness and a whole list of other BS. The cause is still unknown =/ Anyway the headache today went away about 15 mins after taking my prenatal. Weird!

Anyway I am on CD 7! yay 8 Days until Oing (: Sticking with the SMEP this cycle which means CD 10 we start 'trying' [see previous posts for SMEP details] Thats all for now!

4-28-11 Actually Happy about this? Yes, yes I am

So I am incredibly happy about this happening right now. Normally I would be very, very sad about this but I am NOT! Now I have you wondering what on earth I could be happy about! haha!

AF showed up!
Now if your a regular reader you know why it is so weird that I am happy she is here and I will now explain why:
If I get pg this cycle then my estimated due date will be Jan 29th 2012[thats IF I ovulate on time] this is a good thing because it is my mothers birthday!
She passed away in 2007. I had a miscarriage shortly after her death and holidays and her birthday are hard. I think having a EDD of Jan 29th would be a wonderful thing for me and the rest of my family
(: hubby swears its a sign we will get pg this cycle and I really hope he is right!

We still have our list of names that we liked and they surprisingly have NOT changed as of yet.
key word there is Y E T lol
I also reworked my birth plan[yes this early lol I am a PLANNER] from my daughters to better suit what we want to happen this time around. Pretty much the same stuff and I know I will need to make a few alterations once I do get pg.

Currently:
I am on cycle day 1.
Roughly 12 days until O
Roughly 26 days until next AF

In other news: Kaylee's 2nd birthday is RIGHT AROUND the corner (: We are super excited for her special day. May 8th 2009 almost 4 and a half weeks early we were blessed with out little monster! We are so lucky to have such a wonderful kiddo to watch grow up!

Hope everyone is doing well (: KYFC for me this cycle!

4-20-11 Shh No C Word Allowed!

I dont have many symtoms except that I am peeing a lot more than normal and I have tender boobies [ocassional cramps].
But thats usually a PMS sign so I have no high hopes this cycle.
I was feeling "pregnant" for a few days but I woke up this morning with a feeling in my gut that I am not. I only have one more cycle to get pg before we look into "science" stepping in. My doctor has been sugesting that we both have tests run but I wanted to try naturally first.
I knew it was going to be harder this time around after having CC, but a girl can dream! They say "YAY no more cancer" but what they dont tell you is life after cancer is NOT the same at all! Baby making clearly is an issue for me now but I am hoping that we still have a shot at doing this the natural way without having needles and probes and tests done. I really dont need a team of doctors and nurses knowing about my sexcapades and other issues haha ;P
On a side note, I am getting my cancer screening again next cycle as I had a cluster of cells on my cervix but that they came back negitive for cancer last testing time so I am hoping nothing changes there!
I am going to TRY and not test until AF comes, but we all know I just went on a man hunt for my HPTs so obviously I am a die hard POAS-holic lol sooooo we'll see how long that lasts :P

4-18-11 The world of BUT's

So basically I am at the point where I Have to POAS or I will spontaniously combust into a raging ball of never ending fire!
But... [There's always a freakin but ugh]
hubby hid the test really good this time ):

 Jerk...

I looked in all the closets, all the cabnets [even in the kitchen lol] the attic, the car, my car [which we dont drive since its dying on us], Kaylees room and closet, under anything and everything we have lol
He is leaving soon for about 20-30 minutes and the munchkin is tucked safely in her room[no way they are in there I pretty much gutted it yesterday lol] so I am going out to the big nasty scary cobweb infested barn to hunt for my HPTs! Lol Jeesh!
Wish me luck! :P

4-12-11 If at first you FAIL...then...well Idk

Started my 2ww today, and I am almost positive I O'd yesterday or the day before because I had a great pos on my OPK! We BD'd a lot this week and followed SMEP, having some BD time tonight just in case (: and will do every other day until AF shows or I get a BFP!

Basically Ive done all I can do at this point and now its just the very long waiting game for the next two weeks. And yes two weeks feels like a lifetime to me lol

Something in me tells me this isnt our month. Just a feeling. But I will hold onto hope for all she is worth.

4-8-11 OPKs and Potty Adventures

Oh the adventures of Mommy World.

I started my OPKs this week no positive yet but its still early in the game so there is no worries there. I am trying to keep track of my cycle, but I have two different results on my counters so I am trying my best to stay up with both at the same time!

Still following the SMEP, only we have added "fun" here and there just because we want to hee hee.

Funny True story: We went to the store to get more OPKs & HPTs since we didnt order them offline this time [UGH I wish we did its sooo much cheaper!!!! saveontests.com btw has GREAT deals everyday!!!!] Anyway I get to the cashier and she is like staring at me and all my tests and says "Do you want a kid?" I said "Nope trying to get my dog pregnant and we found a stud" Cashier: "Haha. Whats the point of so many tests." Me: "Er. Well when you are told after having one child on the first shot and beating cervical cancer, that you may have a hard time concieving ever again you tend to get obsessive and lets just hope you never have a need for so many tests." Cashier: "Oh." She finishes checking me out and as I am getting everything organized I hear her call me a crazy lady lol. Idiot.

KAYLEE GOT HER FIRST BIG GIRL POTTY & EASY UPS!

Needless to say we are super excited for our Muffin! We introduced her to the potty and she loves it! She hasnt used it yet but she knows to sit on it, how to wipe ect ect.
We have a more laid back approch to PT, we will let her walk around with no diaper or easy up until night time or an outing. She will need to clean up her own "messes" with help of mommy and daddy. Since she goes to work with me [Nanny] I already talked to my employer about my tatics and she is on board! Woo hoo!
Muffin gets to add a sticker to her potty everytime she uses it (: A star for poo poos and a flower for pee pee. She is VERY excited to decorate! For ever 5 stickers she gets M&Ms as a special treat for being such a big girl.
If she doesnt dig it, we will take a break and try again later. No need to push her into doing something she isnt comfortable with!

3-29-11 Tired of Waiting....Boo!

I have no AF and all my tests have come up Neg! I am sometimes a day late but I will cramp up to the point of just staying in bed, but I dont have that at all. Just super tender breasts and today I had CRAZY EWCM in the late evening between 6-8pm.

I almost wonder if I will ovulate this cycle or not because of this! =/ My friend told me that my cycle maybe trying to "sync" up with hers or my new employers [I am a nanny for a work from home mom] since I have been spending lots of time with them lately, but thats never happend to me before so I am not sure.

Now I am just super nervous that I wont ovulate and will have to wait even longer to catch my eggies );

Any thoughts, similar experiences, ect!?

Thanks in Advance

I mentioned the SMEP in my pervious post and here is what that entails (:
-"Try" every other night starting Day 8
-Buy 10 ovulation predictor kit sticks
-Begin ovulation testing on Day 10
-When test is positive, "try" that night, plus two additional nights in a row
-Skip one night, then do one last "try"
-Take a home pregnancy test 15 days after your ovulation test was positive, if your period has not begun
-If your ovulation test never goes positive, continue "trying" every other night until AF day, then do a pregnancy test if your period has not begun.
**Statistics coming in from women who write me show that about 40% of post-miscarriage women will get pregnant on the first try if they are faithful to the plan, about double the number of the normal population who are not on the plan.

***Again this ended up being a Chemical Pregnancy***

3-28-11 The Waiting Game...Unfair

So I am offically in a new cycle, but havent got my monthly visit from AF!! She was due here 2 days ago, yet all my tests have come back negitive! =/ So who knows!
Testing again in the moring, if she doesnt rear her ugly face during the night!! lol (:
I currently have have some light cramping, tender bbies, and a little nausea. But that can all be chalked up to PMS unfortunatly. But I have also been feeling under the weather, slight fever, achy all over. Ugh
If I am not pg right now we are going to try the SMEP [google it Im far to lazy to type it all out]

Anyway thats my short little update! Hope everyone is well

***This Turned out to be a Chemical Pregnancy***

3-20-11 Hungry Hungry Hippo....what?!

I have been starving but nothing yet everything sounds good.

Today at dinner the food smelled delicious yet tasted awful to me, and then just a few minutes ago I tried to make popcorn and the smell was just over baring, I had to make hubby throw it away outside. And I LOVE popcorn!

Ive been slightly crampy as well and sleepy, which is weird since I could not sleep for 2 days then sleep for 3 hours and be just fine. I am hardly ever tired. My boobs look HUGE even hubby noticed lol I literally had to make a "bra" run they are a cup size bigger!

I am hoping these are good signs for me, but I have a feeling its just my hoping and wishing over riding my actual smell and tummy needs. And maybe stress is whats making me tired, but I cant help hoping!! I really hope this isnt a chem preg and I hope these are all REAL preg symptoms lol but its hard to tell since preg symptoms clone so many other things Grr.

DPO: 5 DUT: 8
Symptoms: Sore and enlarged boobs, strong sense of smell and taste, very tired, light cramping and twinges of pain in low abdomen.

You know the drill about my lingo by now lol See prvious posts for more info

KYFC and Wish Me Lots of Baby Dust!

3-17-11 The 2 week wait...Baby Names?

I am offically on my 2WW! Ugh what a drag! I dont wanna wait! I think knowing things like this should be instant lol
Hubby and I have come up with our "Final" list of baby names [yes its early but I am a PLANNER] I say final very loosely because I am sure I will change my mind a thousand times. Haha

Hubbys Picks: Boys:
Liam Carter Harless
Aiden Riley Harless
Aiden Zachary Harless
Girls:
Natailia Jordyn Harless
Savannah McKenna Harless

My Picks: Boys:
Avery Maddox Harless
Landon Avery Harless
Avery Carter Harless
Noah Avery Harless
Girls:
Alanna Jordyn Harless
Natalia Savannah Harless
McKenna RyLeigh Harless

But this time its MY turn to pick the name since hubby got to pick last time! I'm so excited! Now I just have to hope we caught my little eggy and that my body will be nice and let it grow! ;D I am so excited! I feel really good about this month, but I dont want to get my hopes up to high only to get a BFN again!!

We also decided that this time around I will be the only one to know the sex of the baby! I am HORRIBLE at waiting and I have the waiting time of a toddler so I HAVE to know or I will literally go nuts. lol ;P Lucky me with the weight of the world in my belly!

So KYFC and wish me LOTS of Baby Dust!

Lingo Help:

2WW=Two Week Wait[for Preg testing]

BFN-Big F---ing Negitive

KTFC-Keep your fingers crossed

Attention Readers: Clearly these names dont stay this way for long. HA!

3-11-11 The Art of Kidnapping....BD Story

I have Big BDing plans this weekend since I am due to ovulate on Sunday. I thought about buying OPK's for this week but idk if we will have the $$ since we went over budget on groceries this week. Maybe the $$General has some? :/


  I told hubby to clear his schedual for the weekend because I planned on kidnapping him and locking him in our room so we can get this munchkin baking already!!! His face :O followed by XD

I have offically applied for FAFSA and to school (: I am super duper excited to get the ball rolling lol I had waited two years so hubby could get things done and now its my turn!! Im debating between OB/GYN Nursing and Ultrasound...hmmmm Both are something I would LOVE to do. Im sure I'll pick one soon though!

CD: 11 of 27

DUO: 2 or 4 [I have two different predictions]

OPK: Ovulation Prediction Kit

DB: Baby Dancing

See previous posts for more details

WISH ME LUCK!! & KYFC

3-6-11 The Ashley Train Wreck...CRASH

I feel like a train wreck! I cry over everything, I am moody, grumpy, and restless. And I am worn out!

Hubby says I have become the spawn of satan lol But he has been really good to me, hugs me and kisses me when Im feeling sour, makes sure the chores are done so I have have to worry about all of them. He even lets me pick what movie we watch before bed haha.

But even with all his help, I feel so emotional. I feel 13 again, where the smallest things can ruin a perfectly good day. I cried today because i set the stove to the wrong temperature and couldnt put the chicken in the oven yet! Ugh what is going on here?!
Yesterday I got upset when Kaylee's pictures didnt turn out right when I printed them off @ the drug store. I feel so bad for the lady trying to help me!

I am normally very laid back about the little things and usually only plan and organize the big stuff, and now every little detail digs into my skin like a knife!

I need a pick me up and fast!

CD: 6 DUO: 9

[see previous post for explanations of abreviations]

3-3-11 Baby Dancing...Rock On

So I have been on my baby journy for a while, if you read before you know my Sobs haha. Before we had a "Let it Happen" Attitude, but we never got pregnant! And its been a while since we started! Jeesh! So we talked and talked about the advantages and disadvantages of really TTC a few months ago; clearly we decided to really go at it!

I have been tracking on three different websites, as well as on an app on my phone (: I also have been charting my temp since the beginning but I am one of those woman that doesnt have a temp change during the big O so that hasnt been very helpful =/ but I am confident we will get preggers when the time is right (:

Anywho we are super excited to have another baby, and we are hoping for oodles of baby dust and NO BFNs(:

This is a BFP month, I can feel it!

KYFC for me (:

CD: 3 DUO:10

Heres a guide for those who dont understand my lingo!

TTC: Trying to Concieve

O: Ovulation

BD: Baby Dancing/Sex

BFN: Big Fat/Fucking Negative

BFP: Big Fat/Fucking Positive

Sobs: Same Ol Boring Story

PT: Pregnancy Tesy

POAS: Pee On A Stick

CD: Cycle Day

DUO: Days Until [predicted] Ovulation

DPO: Days Past Ovulation

3-1-11 Evil Af...Tears

>;( AF came today, 3am actually. Rude? Very. Was there crying? of course? ):<<br />
I know I had all the BFNs [BigFuckingNo or BigFreakingNo] but you cant stop a girl from hoping!!

...::::BUT::::...

March is the third month of the year, right? Right. So if this is our third time trying this year then three times a charm, right? Right...well here's to hoping that baby--dust is sprinkled heavily over me and my bed! Lol

On the plus side: more BD[baby dancing] for hubby and me ::winkwink:: Which is happy about for sure! haha. Oh men and their silliness.

KYFC for me this could be my month!!